JuJuDeals

Which obviously stands for “Thank God It’s Finally Friday!” Wait, what did you think that second F was for? Never mind, it’s not important, cause it’s FRIDAY, and we don’t have to care about anything, including whatever you were about to say. This brings us to an important topic that we do care about, though, and so should you.

Summer jamz. Note the “z” at the end of the word “jam.” This differentiates it from any delicious fruit preserves you may also be jarring this summer, and regardless of whether Mother Nature has gotten the memo yet or not, we’re in spring. That means summer is right around the corner, replete with all of the jams and jamz you look forward to.

Now is the perfect time to start test driving your summer playlist. Pick out the tracks that put the amber liquid of beach sunsets into your days and the mischief-breeding heat of still-warm concrete into your nights. After all the stress of the last year, we’re calling it now: 2010 is going to be a Party Summer. So start getting your musical affairs in order, cause you don’t want to be the one still trying to get a good time started on Backstreet Boys and the Spice Girls.

Unfortunately, we can’t really do the legwork for you as regards picking your music. We don’t really know what you like, see. It varies quite a bit depending on age, area, tastes, etc. We can tell you that we’ve been enjoying the new stuff from Gorillaz and Sleigh Bells, and Best Coast, but perennial favorites AC/DC, Pink Floyd, and The Beatles will almost certainly be making the cut as well. Luckily, what we can do for you is point you in the direction of some hot gear to enjoy that music from. A good summer will need music available in the following manners:

• From your car- You’ll want a way to blast some cruising music as you drive down the boulevard (play Lowrider) or the scenic detour (play Free Bird) with the windows down. For a budget car audio overhaul, we recommend the NCA-671 stereo and the NX-768 speakers. If you have a little more scratch to plunk down, the NX-686 or NX-684 stereos and NX-769 speakers.
• On the go- An MP3 player like the NX-142 is great for when you want to sit on your roof or lay on the beach and watch the sun set.
• At a party- Summer is nothing if not filled with barbecues, tailgates, grill-outs, chili cookoffs, beach parties, house parties, block parties, and the like. You’ll need a way to bring music around with you and blast it at your friends and associates. The NPB-425 stereo fills that niche nicely, playing a ton of different formats and built to go with you wherever you go.
• At home- Lastly, you’ll want something for your living room, bedroom, garage, or wherever you spend most of your time. There are a couple ways you can do this. If you like listening to things on CD (be it regular audio CD or a burned MP3 CD), a wall mounted NX-430 stereo will do you up nice. If more often find yourself listening to your music via MP3 player, the NAS-3001 MP3 player dock and speakers is probably more your speed.

Alright, what music recommendations do you have for us to pump through these sound machines? Leave it in the comments, summer lovers!

Ah, the humble earbud-style headphone; ever present audio accoutrement of the modern world. You see them everywhere and on everyone. That kid on the bus? Catching the game on his portable AM/FM radio. That guy in the suit? Listening to a seminar on his smartphone. The sweet old lady?  Listening to hard core gangster rap on her MP3 player, cause we like to totally, like, blow away your preconceptions, maaan. Sure, they discreetly pipe sound from your devices to your ears, but that’s only the most obvious function of this omnipresent electronic.

In the study of Sociology, there is a term known as “function,” for which the opposite is “dysfunction.” The function of a family is to raise a child into a happy, healthy, well socialized adult. It doesn’t take a social scientist to figure out, though, that every family is also rife with dysfunctions; mom sings songs from musicals even though her voice is terrible and it drives you crazy, dad tries to fix everything himself so nothing in your house ever works, you dog’s an alcoholic divorcee, etc. Functions are broken down into manifest functions and latent functions, with manifest functions being beneficial things you expect, and latent functions being beneficial things you hadn’t planned for, but come with the package anyway. You could probably guess the manifest functions of the earbud headphone.

Manifest Functions of Earbuds

• Transmit sound from an audio device to your ears.
• Roll up for easy storage.
• Weigh less than standard headphones, allowing for extended wearing and additional comfort

But what about some of the latent functions? What about all those little perks that come with earbuds that didn’t necessarily go into the design itself?

Latent Functions of Earbuds

• Announces to the world: “Hello, world! I am successful enough to own an MP3 player.” Your waves of success will certainly ripple outwards, opening doors and garnering the company of attractive, desirable people.
• Creates what we call the “Headphone Forcefield.” If you’re in an elevator, you can completely avoid the awkward silence and smalltalk. If you’re lounging on campus, studying a book, you won’t be interrupted by some hacky sack kicking greaseball hitting on you. If you’re on the bus and a headcase that smells like model airplane glue is trying to find someone he can explain his theories on who’s really behind gravity to, headphones will spare you, or at least give you a good reason to pretend you don’t hear him.
• Keep your MP3 player or radio in an inside coat pocket and run the earphone cord through a long sleeve. Now, when you’re leaning your head on your hand, sitting through a boring lecture from a T.A. who doesn’t know what he’s talking about, you can secretly be holding an earbud in your ear and listening to whatever you like! So sneaky.
• Meet someone cute while listening to your freshly crafted playlist of certifiably cool music? Offer them one earbud and ask them what they think of the song for an instant conversation starter. Plus, if it works out between you crazy kids, you have a pretty adorable “how we met” story.

It’s always interesting to examine all the little associations and attachments that grow out of our interaction with electronics, but make sure you don’t fall into any earbud dysfunctions, like chewing on the cord, swinging the buds around, or talking louder to everybody else just cause the music you’re listening to is loud. No one else can hear it, buddy! Quit shouting at us!

They say “silence is golden.” We don’t know just who “they” are, but they’re probably a total buzzkill. Everyone knows that silence is no match for music. Don’t believe us? Let’s break it down with some logic.

• Silence (S) is golden ($). [S = $]
• Music (M) is awesome (!). [M = !]
• Gold is used to purchase things (T) that are awesome. [$ x T = !]
• With awesome being the end goal, awesome is preferable to gold. [! > $]
• If [M = !], [S = $], and [! > $] are true, then by the transitive property of equality, music is much better than silence.

Thus, we bury an age old maxim. And what better way to commemorate its passing than with these slightly ominous looking portable MP3 player speakers, all the better to play Amazing Grace with at its funeral? Yeah, we admit they look a little bit like headstones, or maybe Stonehenge (wonder if we should have gone with an alien theme for today’s blog…), but don’t let that scare you. They’re (probably) not haunted, and ghostly sounds will only come out of them if you’re playing Halloween sound effects to spook trick-or-treaters.

The cool thing about them is that you can use them as your desktop computer speakers, as portable MP3 speakers, a way to boost your laptop’s sound-blasting abilities, or even for a portable DVD player. Everywhere you take them, they will herald the death of boredom and the doom of silence. Death is just a part of the cycle of life, though, and there is no death without rebirth. From the ashes of silence and boredom will spring the phoenix entertainment, enjoyment, and good times.

So don’t feel bad. Bring your portable speakers and play some rowdy Irish drinking music at silence’s wake. Have a good time. Share the fun memories. It’s what silence would have wanted.

When it comes to giving gifts, are you sort of a dope? Think back to the last gift you gave. Could have been for someone’s birthday, an anniversary, Christmas, Hannukah, a going away party, or any other special day. It doesn’t matter. How well did it go over? If you couldn’t tell, or your memory’s too hazy to remember, we’re gonna help break it down for you. Here are a few ways to tell whether your gift left the recipient a little green around the gills

• You got your 10 year old cousin the weed trimmer you wanted, then asked to borrow it
• You got your mom more pots so you have something to take her cooking to your house in
• You gave your grandmother with the chronic back problem the free partner membership you got for joining a kickboxing gym
• You got the neighbor kid a discount party clown that took his break in the middle of the birthday song, and all the kids had to stand around watching him smoke for twenty minutes while he yelled on his cell phone about his backed up toilet

The astute reader may notice that all these nuggets of bad gift giving stem from one central problem: not being thoughtful. A bad gift is one that doesn’t make a memory. It’s bland, forgettable, unexciting, or not suited to the tastes of person, and will be gone from their mind like vapor the second they open the next present. Gift cards often (but not always) fall into this category. A really bad gift is one that you are surreptitiously giving to yourself, or that factors your benefit as much as or more than the recipient. Like giving your significant other a vacuum cleaner, house paint, or a pipe that oddly enough matches the one you’ve wanted replaced under the sink for the last month. Gifts shouldn’t be reminders of cutting grass under the blazing sun.

So how do you give your love, your coworker, or your best bud a piece of how much you value them? Simple. Know them. Give it some forethought. If you aren’t sure, act like a secret agent and case the joint. Pay attention to what their interests are, look at the kind of papers they read and shows they watch. Ask their friends. Here’s an example of a gift that on its own is certainly fun, but with a little bit of planning, will elevate itself high up on the gift stash.

1. Step one: Purchase Video/MP3 player.
2. Step two: Find out what albums, artists, and songs your target likes, and pre-load a few onto the player.
3. Step three: Find out what the target’s hobbies are. Do they like cooking? Put a few interesting looking recipe videos on the player. Do they like skateboarding? Load up some how to videos for tricks. Are they learning to play guitar? Download an instructional video for their favorite song.
4. Step four: Load a few of the recipient’s favorite TV shows or movies onto the device.
5. Step five: Use the built in microphone on the player to record a personal message from you and everyone else at the party.
6. Step six: Roll it all up in some gift wrap or in a decorative gift bag with colorful tissue paper and present it.

Now that is a cherry of a gift that will stay clipped to their brain for a good long while, and keep you out of the sticky situation of “giving the lamest gift at the party.” Plus, there’s a hidden upside to good gift giving: people remember it when it’s time to return the favor. We would of course never endorse such a hairy attitude about the altruistic act of giving a present. But, you know, in the interest of full disclosure… yeah, we totally would.

Now, this probably won’t make a whole lot of sense to those of you who can’t remember a time before the internet, but for those of us who have a box full of 80s clothes that we actually bought in the 80s, one of the quickest ways to conjure up a nostalgic tear or two is to remember the long-lost art of the mix tape.

Monday you can fall apart / Tuesday, Wednesday, break my heart

The mix tape was the premiere way to woo the target of your desire, or to make sure an already wooed target stays in the throes of complete and utter woo. Now, if your early childhood memories are those of Pokemon, you’re probably thinking “But wait, how is this any different than a mix CD? Or building a streaming playlist and sending the object of my affections a link?”

Well there’s a big difference, buster! Mix CDs are cool and all, but it takes basically no effort to make one. Click your mouse button a couple dozen times and POOF! Mix CD. And a playlist? Come on. That’s like wanting to draw a beautiful portrait for your love, only to hand them a post-it note saying “If I had more energy, this would be a beautiful portrait.” It’s not always the thought that counts.

No, a mix tape required effort. You had to decide what songs to use, and in which order. What was the message of the tape? You had to be totally sure beforehand, cause there’s no reordering the track list after it’s on there. You had to sit there and hold play on one tape and record on the other. If you didn’t have a crucial song, you had to sit by the radio and start recording the second it came on. After all that, you had to decorate the package, give it a cover slip, maybe even write out the track list and lyrics with some cool little designs.

Thoughtfulness, patience, perseverance, effort, creativity; the mix tape showed you used them all, which brings us to the good news. KAPOW! You can still make one. The nice thing is, this portable stereo also plays audio and MP3 CDs, so you can sorta cheat and make a mix tape with half of the effort. We’re telling you, people, whether you were around for the rise and fall of the mix tape or not, there are many reasons why making one and giving it to someone you care about will still totally knock their socks off.

Not least of which will be the added mystery and appreciation your target experiences by having to actually find a way to play it. Searching always makes the reward sweeter, and hey… maybe you can invite them over to play it on your stereo?