“That’s right, chum. The NX-684 Touchscreen In-Dash DVD/MP3/CD/USB Player and TV Tuner I’ve just installed in the Batmobile is going to be an enormous help in our never-ending war on the criminal element.”
“And it won’t hurt with the ladies, either, Batman.”
“That it won’t, my young squire, though I think you still have a few years to go before you’ll really need to start dealing with them, aha! In any case, the highly receptive touchscreen means we won’t have to fumble around with the buttons to access the features we want, and the remote control will let even a backseat DJ in on the fun. The TV Tuner will also let us check the local news for breaking emergencies.”
“Well, first off, Batman, does the Batmobile even have a backseat? Also, regarding the girls… I’m 32, Bruce. You can’t keep pretending I’m still a kid. Which reminds me, I’ve really been meaning to talk to you about this costume. It was pretty silly even when I was 12. As it stands, I feel completely ridiculous going outside in this thing. Have you seen the way Joker laughs at me?”
“Robin, Joker laughs at everything. That’s sort of his schtick. You can’t take him seriously, you know that. Now come here, I want to show you how the ID3 Text Function displays track information on the device we’ve just installed.”
“Quit changing the subject! I’m used to Joker laughing at everything, but now when we jump in through the skylight, I see him lean over to his henchmen and snicker. It’s different and you know it! I’m a grown man, Batman. I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to be fighting crime in a red muscle shirt, a yellow half-cape, and green speedos. I don’t even remember how you sold me on these Peter Pan shoes 20 years ago.”
“Oh, come now, son. That uniform isn’t too different from Aquaman’s. He’s been sporting speedos for years!”
“Exactly my point! If people are comparing you to Aquaman, you know you’re doing something wrong. That man’s only friends are fish.”
“Now that’s not fair, Robin. Aquaman has done a lot for-”
“Look, here’s how it’s gonna be, Bruce. I’m having Alfred design me a new uniform, and I’m borrowing the Batmobile tonight. I plan on using the Auxiliary Input Jack on the Touchscreen Player to plug in my MP3 player and get a mood-setting mix going for my date tonight.”
“You have a date!? I didn’t okay this!”
“Bruce! Live in the now! You don’t get to okay my romantic life, I’m not a kid anymore, despite what this costume would indicate. Selena and I are gonna have a night on the town, and you just need to be okay with it.”
“Catwoman!? Chum, you can’t seriously be going on a date with Catwoman! She’ll steal the NX-684 the second that she sees it accepts MP3 CDs, USB, DVDs, SD, and MM cards!”
“Not with its motorized, removable faceplate and LED security lights, she won’t. Besides, we’re leaving the costumes behind tonight. This is just two people going on a regular date. In the Batmobile.”
“Isn’t she a little old for you, Robin?”
“She may not be in the Catwoman costume when I pick her up, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t still a Cougar.”

