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The following is a list of what we feel are ten compelling reasons that the NPD-702 Portable DVD Player with 7″ LCD Screen is superior to finding an orphaned infant abandoned on your doorstep.

• By current estimates, it costs nearly $200,000 to raise a child from birth to legal adulthood. Conversely, it costs less than $80 to bring a DVD playing bundle of joy into your life.
• Not only will inserting DVDs into an orphan child not result in several hours of movie enjoyment, it will result in you being hounded by Social Services.
• Babies don’t have USB inputs yet, and their speakers are automatically set to “scream loudly with no volume adjust.”
• The NPD-702 comes with a Full Function Remote Control. A baby comes with a fully functioning bowel system without even the remotest amount of control.
• The NPD-702 enjoys a 180 degree swivel screen design. If you repeatedly swivel a baby 180 degrees, well… The less said about that, the better. Babies are not for shaking.
• The DVD player has a slot for SD/MMC media storage, so you can enjoy a wide variety of videos and images, whereas all a baby can do is draw some lame picture that doesn’t even look like anything, if you’re lucky.
• You won’t have to grapple with the complex moral issues involved with lying to a baby about Santa Clause, The Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny when you use the NPD-702. The NPD-702 only cares about showing you movies.
• The NPD-702 has a wide 7″ screen that can be set to Normal or Widescreen viewing modes. The closest thing an orphaned baby has to that is a face which, to be frankly honest, is kind of fat and weird looking.
• You can fold up the highly portable DVD player/LCD screen combo and toss it in a backpack, while there are entire industries built around different ways to lug around an infant. And before you ask, no, you can’t try folding up the baby, that’s a terrible idea and we can’t believe you were thinking it even though it’s not your kid.
• Everyone knows that babies left on doorstops always end up having some ridiculous destiny of ultimate good or evil, and that is just way more drama than anyone wants to sign up for. The NPD-702 is way more laid back, and is all about watching Top Gun in a hammock with some lemonade.

Now we don’t want to go around telling you what to do and what not to do, but those points all seem pretty irrefutable. So if you hear that baby crying on your doorstep someday, you’re totally welcome to open the door and start down that path. Or you could just turn up your DVD player until it becomes “not your problem.” Your call.

So you want to choose a TV, but you’re still trying to make up your mind about features you need? Consult this handy guide for a few pointers!

• 7″ Portable LCD TV- This handheld device is the smallest of the group, which also means it’s the most portable. It’s ideal for tossing in a backpack or glove box so you can catch some shows when you’re stuck somewhere. It’s also a great set to have during an emergency in case traditional TV reception is rendered impossible, as it will let you catch any important information, developments, or emergency broadcasts.
• 9″ Portable LCD TV- Like the one above, only with a larger screen. It performs all of the above functions, trading increased screen size for a slightly larger body. If you want a portable TV, and don’t have to worry about packing things down to the smallest possible size, there’s no reason you wouldn’t love this one.
• 15″ LCD HDTV- Now we’re getting into the non-portable models. This 15″ TV needs to remain moored to some manner of power source (either AC or DC will do), but it trades up in image quality with a fantastic High Def picture. It also plays DVDs thanks to an in-unit disc player. This set is great if you want to install a TV on your RV, boat, or semi-truck, but don’t have a whole lot of space to work with. It’s also wall-mountable, meaning it can get installed just about anywhere.
• 19″ LCD HDTV- A decent size upgrade from the 15″ without becoming too unwieldy, the 19″ does everything the 15″ does, but bigger. With its HD picture, you really get the most out of the screen size.
• 22″ LCD HDTV- This is the largest size 12 volt HDTV you can get! If you have the space on a boat, semi, or RV, this is a great choice for your main TV and DVD player. Like the 15″ and 19″, it’s wall mountable, functions with either AC or DC power, includes an in-unit DVD player, has its own speakers, can intercept digital TV signals, and has a remote control.

As you can see, there are a wide variety of TVs to meet any of your traveling and watching needs. Just pick the one that fits your life!